People wonder why I have no self-esteem
The only girl I ever kissed was in a dream
What's the reason? Is it me or is it fate?
I put in effort; keep asking for a date.
Talk to a stranger. Listen to her response.
Already married. To a guy named Hans.
See this has happened many times before.
Can't take any more.
CHORUS:
I ask you.
why does every girl I see
mention her soulmate instantly
as soon as she gets one look at me.
Every single time that I say Hi
she happens to bring up her special guy.
I smile but inside I want to cry.
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Hey, good-looking. That's a really cool cap
My man bought it for me at the Gap.
What about you? Do you have plans tonight?
My honey's taking me to a campsite.
I beg your pardon. Are you next in line?
Talk to my sweetheart; it's his space not mine.
<Albert wanders off>
I could be by myself. Alone in a dead end.
<Girl appears out of nowhere>
Have you seen my boyfriend?
Repeat CHORUS
Would it be forward if I bought you a drink?
You sound too needy.
<She hands Albert a business card>
My husband is a shrink.
<Albert approaches a long blonde from behind>
Excuse me miss. You wanna get some food?
<Blonde swivels on barstool to face Albert>
Whoa, bro, I'm a dude.
Repeat CHORUS x3
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